Gel hair man shuts off AI to please area Karens

Well, that headline is doing a lot of work for the Governor’s office. California’s answer to the AI question is to convene more experts, who will presumably write a guide, which will presumably gather dust next to the other guides. It’s a classic Sacramento move: when you don’t know what to do, form a committee and hold a press conference with great hair.

The irony is thick enough to comb. Newsom vetoed a serious, straightforward AI safety bill last year, one with actual teeth, and now he wants to “reinforce and strengthen” laws that don’t exist. He’s not regulating the technology; he’s regulating the vibes. This executive order is designed to appease the tech donors in San Francisco who want zero friction, while tossing a bone to the activists in Berkeley who want a pause on everything. The result is another round of California theater.

What’s really happening here is a Governor who is terrified of picking a side. He wants to stand next to the giants of AI innovation when it’s time for photo ops, but he also wants to look tough for the local Karens who think Skynet is coming for their yoga studio. You can’t lead by consensus on a technology that is moving faster than the legislative paperwork can be filed. Innovation doesn't wait for a working group.

The practical effect is nil. Developers aren't waiting for Sacramento’s blessing; they are building in Texas and Tennessee where the laws are sane and the tax rates are lower. This order just tells the rest of the country that the Golden State is now the Ginormous Focus Group. It’s a solution in search of a problem, designed by a man who sees a crisis and thinks the answer is a PowerPoint presentation. It might satisfy the pearl-clutchers, but it doesn't protect anyone. It just proves once again that California is regulating by press release, not by law.