Miss Manners: If a stranger holds the door for me, do I also go first in line?

The advice-world framing here treats everyday courtesy like a negotiation over who “wins” the door, the line, or the check. That’s a very modern habit: turning simple social norms into a running argument about power, obligation, and hidden strings.

Conservatives tend to see manners as a low-cost form of social order, not a puzzle to litigate. Holding a door doesn’t create a debt; it’s a small act that reinforces civic reciprocity. Likewise, line etiquette matters because fairness and predictability keep public life from turning sour. Go first if it’s clearly offered, don’t if it cuts others, and say thank you either way.

The gift-card question gets at personal responsibility and public trust. A gift is meant to be received, not laundered back into a performance. Use it without guilt, add your own generosity if you choose, and keep the social compact simple: courtesy given freely, gratitude offered honestly.